Beating the Ryanair baggage check

I had a Ryanair flight booked from Stockholm Skavsta to Kaunas that had cost me €5. I was already annoyed about having to pay €10 for a bus to the airport — hitchhiking at 5am to some middle-of-nowhere terminal wasn't exactly appealing — but there was absolutely no way I was going to check my bag in.

For the first time in a dozen or so low-cost flights, there was a proper baggage check: every passenger had to weigh their bag and slot it into a sizing frame to check the dimensions.

After my first attempt they made me weigh it again. I was over the limit by more than 8 kilos. A friendly Swedish woman told me I'd need to check it. Challenge accepted.

1. I stepped back to the area before the gate and started shedding weight.
2. Ditched the pasta I had in my bag (roughly 300g).
3. Put on two extra T-shirts.
4. Clipped the e-reader to my waistband.
5. Put my jacket on.
6. Stuffed all my trouser and jacket pockets with the contents of my wash bag, chargers, external hard drive…
7. Slid the netbook inside my jacket, on top of the e-reader.
8. Put my hoodie on over everything.
9. Walked back to the Ryanair weight-and-size check.

The bag now weighed 10.3 kg. This time the Scandinavian woman waved me through. Then came the sizing frame — my 60-litre pack slid in without any problem, partly because it was now half empty.

Past the Ryanair check, I hit security, where I took the opportunity to put everything back where it belonged. Worth noting: the security staff were all women, and the pat-downs were carried out by two rather attractive Scandinavian blondes. I doubt anyone complained.

And so, after this brief adventure, I made it to the plane, where I wrote this post while flying over Lithuania.

Mission Accomplished.